A Noble Quest

The witterings of a sorely deluded soul who enjoys debate with herself and others.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Gay Christian Bingo

This is a game of bingo you can play, it’s called, “Things some Christians say to the LGBT* community but mainly to male gays because they’re only the ones who exist really in the Christian world”. 

Tick the ones that have been said to you. Have fun! 

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Christianity is not about the afterlife

Well, to me anyway. I find that Christianity surpasses such a thing because it calls people to the here and now. Jesus said for us to love all, friend or enemy, and that such love produces good fruit. Now love and peace bless this world, and in turn, bless the future of this world. Perhaps humans are in some respect guardians of Earth. Whether we are guardians or not does not necessarily matter, what does matter however, is the fact our actions have repercussions and consequences. Hate and war ruin and damage, love and peace unite and strengthen. As Christians, we are commanded to love, thus, if we follow this commandment, we shall have positive consequences and history can remember the generation kindly.

Christianity is about compassion.

Christianity is about friendship and fellowship.

Christianity is about overcoming differences.

Christianity is about forgiveness and mercy. Christianity is about the good side of humanity. The side of humanity which repels greed, which battles peacefully against injustice, which does not reject anyone.

Christianity is also about not making people oppressed. Making people live in fear. Making people be a believer in Christ Jesus. Christianity is much more than all of these. What good is a fear of Hell? What good is just waiting for Heaven? What good comes from merely focussing on the next life?

"For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." (Matthew 25:35-40)

Saturday, 1 September 2012


If God is love, would He rebuke a relationship of love?
If God is light, would He reject someone who found their way out of darkness?
If God is Jesus, would He lack sympathy, empathy and understanding?
If God is just, is that where His power to forgive comes from?
If God is kind, will not He show mercy?

Is not God the one of infinite compassion?
Is not God the being of light?
Is not God the source of love?
Is not God the one who  judges?
Is not God, the Messiah Christ Jesus?

Friday, 31 August 2012

The Calling

When parents reject their children because of their child’s sexuality and the parents’ love of God; are they really loving God? Does rejection equate to love? Is condemnation love? So I repeat it again:

Is rejection the way we should show our love to God?
Is condemnation the path we take when we love God?
Are broken relationships between child and parent, a reflection of the love they have for God?

Called to love, called to love all. 

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Live, let live and love

I have been told in my life that I am possessed by a demon or that I am succumbing to wicked temptation, simply because I accept the person I am, more specifically, I accept the fact that I am a woman who is sexually attracted to other woman. According to the people who have said these things, I revel in sin, I am fueled by lust and temptation, that any relationship I have with another woman will be one of sex, sex, sex, with no room for love. They seem to connect homosexuality with sex, and sex alone. Sex seems to be quite a tricky subject with them indeed, especially when any sex outside the bonds of “traditional” marriage occurs. (I shall continue to use the word “sex” because I would like to emphasise the fact that sex is normal, natural, beautiful, wonderful and is one of the top gifts from God, up there with ice cream, beer and Doctor Who.) Sex has become shackles of burden and guilt, rather than liberating and worship. (I think having sex is a good way of worshipping God.)

So the folks who have told me these things believe that to be gay/lesbian/any other sexuality that isn’t heterosexuality is an ABOMINATION. (DUN, DUN DUUUNN.) Well, no, they aren’t abominations, quite often they are people struggling with guilt that your suppression and bile has caused, they are frightened and petrified of being who they really are, they fear hell and eternal damnation because of having certain verses skewed and shoved down their throats. And no wonder why there are so many people who suffer with depression.

The worse bit is: this repression doesn’t even surprise me. One. Little. Bit.

Where is the love when you call an intrinsic part of a person a sin? Where is the friendship when you distance yourself from the minority? Where is the kindness when you preach people to hell and think spitting from a pulpit is your passage to heaven? There is no love, no friendship, no kindness here.

The fact is, there are people who don’t fit into your worldview and sometimes you’re going to have to breathe the same air as them. If people pass into your bubble, don’t point your finger at them because all you’re doing is being blind. The people who have damned me, you did not love me. You rejected me, scorned me, hated me. You told me that the love I have for anther woman is sick, untrue and just about sex. Well let me be the first to exclaim that it is so much more than that. And let me say something else, the more I fell in love with her, the more I fell in love with Jesus. Is Jesus for oppressing or is Jesus for rejoicing? I became a Christian and then I realised that I am sexually and romantically attracted to women, Christ didn’t say, “Now you’ve got to be born again, again, second time lucky. “ Jesus said, “I knew you were gay, now go and feel the beauty of love.” Walking with Jesus is much more fun, comforting and wonderful than walking with insults, oppression and hate.

I know this may sound angry, and maybe I’ve been harsh, I forgive those that said what they said to me, but the forgiveness doesn’t make it hurt any less. I am free in Christ Jesus, the man of love, the man of friendship, the man of kindness. 

Monday, 20 August 2012

Time For a Rant

It’s all about choice. 
Want to be celibate? Feel free to be celibate. 
Want to be chaste? Feel free to be chaste. 
Want to have sex in relationships? Feel free to have sex in relationships. 
Want to have one night stands and similar things? Feel feel to do so. 
Want to have a monogamous relationship? Feel free to have one. 
Want to have a polygamous relationship? Feel free to have one as well. 
Want a relationship that breaks society’s conventions? Go for it!
Want to be sexually liberated? Liberate yourself. 
I’m sure there are tons of other ones I could write and add to this list, free feel to add any that you think are important. I wrote this without sex and sexuality because no matter what sex or sexuality a person is, I believe that they deserve to have choices sexually and with relationships. 
If having multiple sexual partners if for you, then enjoy who you are but don’t expect everyone to be the same. 
If you want just the one sexual partner because that’s what’s right for you, then enjoy that choice but don’t expect everyone to make the same decision. 
Again, this could go on and on and on. 
Let us celebrate diversity and celebrate choice and the ability to choose. 
To me, choice is the most important factor. (And of course, with all of the above I am referring to consensual sex.) 

Friday, 3 August 2012

The Tightrope to Confession and the Tightrope to Life

I have decided to open this with a confession. You may never have read anything by me before, you may have read it all. Acting the joker, having a witty tongue (or witty fingertips in the case of blogging), are very much part of me. I line things I write with attempts at comedy. I approach topics with an arsenal of jokes lined up, just in case I get upset. I approach my faith and my sexuality with such joviality (?).

Perhaps I need to step away from jokes, however witty or unfunny they may be. The purpose of planting humour for me, is to plant a diversion, to get the people who do happen to read what I write, slightly away from I, the writer. Maybe I don’t need a fulltime exodus, I just need to be a little more honest, a little more personal, a little more open.

If I laugh away the insults, joke away the pain, then I can pretend to be triumphant for a short while, until I go to my room and feel deflated. Even if I scoffed or smirked or smiled it away, it rests in my head, staying there for the day, whispering in the evening, plaguing in the night. Humour is my reflex. It’s not there to be funny, it’s there as a defense.

I feel like I needed to admit this.

Having a sexuality which involves same sex attraction (I have yet to pinpoint it down), is hard. So I get attacked from this angle.

Being a Christian can be hard. I shall never, ever claim that it is hard like it is in certain countries; I do not face such oppression.

Yet I already fear that I’ve talked too much about myself, that this post is riddled with far too many first person pronouns. What I am trying to discuss is the balance between being Christian and being gay (or whatever I happen to be).

The cliché of the fine line or walking down a tightrope is very apt. Scared of stepping over the boundary, fearing floundering and falling, not realising that beneath this line, this thin, fragile rope, there is a safety net.


He’s there to catch to us, there to put us back on the narrow path. And when we are ready, He’ll teach us how to soar, rather than stumble, to fly, rather than falter, to touch the stars over the dirt. Christ is there for us. We not excluded from His love. When Jesus told us that God loves us, Jesus did not lie, personally I imagine Jesus blossoming with joy. Jesus knows this truth, He shows us this truth, let us embrace it, let us embrace Christ. Christ’s finger points to something so wonderful, so amazing, so awesome. May our eyes look to where it points, not just His finger. Let our feet begin the journey to God, with Jesus’ hand in ours.

The last thing I wish to do is enforce, I despise enforcement and the attitude, “You have to agree with me, otherwise you’re wrong.” I just felt compelled to write this, the Holy Spirit guiding me. Whether or not this inspires you, or encourages you, I pray that the Lord Jesus blesses you. 

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

The A/Theism Triangle

The divide between atheists and theists, is most likely shaped like a triangle. The huge looming difference at the bottom being that one side believes in a deity, the other side doesn't. This of course, is the definition of the words, and these definitions, clearly demonstrate the diametric opposition found in this great debate. The base of the triangle is the difference, and is connected to the sides because arguments often ensue (as well as friendship, I positively add). The tip of the triangle is the common factor, because, unbelievably perhaps, there is indeed a common factor. Humanity. We are all human beings. Scuttling, prancing, little, but ever so wonderful human beings. 

If you’re wondering why I chose red, it’s because red is the symbol of passion, love, anger, romance, blood, evil, guilt, sin, courage, sacrifice, danger, loyalty, courage, sex, heroism… Or maybe I just like the colour red, you decide. 

Monday, 9 July 2012

The Lord, Trusting and Exams

Huzzah! (Seriously, that word is underused.) I have passed my exams and am off to university! I am studying archaeology at the University of York so I am terribly excited and also frightfully relieved. Throughout my summers holidays I have been worrying, getting all worked up into a dreadful tiz; there are metaphorical torn hair strewn around everywhere. My sleeping pattern was truly woeful, even my dreams' knees were knocking.

The real issue here is that I carried my burden alone. 

I received my results on Thursday afternoon, it took me until Wednesday night to ask for help. The benefits were just mind-blowing. The Lord had helped me through my exams and I attempted to exclude Him from waiting for the results. I allowed a great fear to dwell within me. 
I sat on my bed one Wednesday night, it was fast approaching midnight. I picked up my Bible and flicked to Matthew 11:28, for I have the corner of the page folded.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Our Lord Jesus Christ explicitly offers His support and His help. My, I could have done with Him for the whole of June. I felt this inkling, this little urge, a little push to go and read some of the Psalms. 

3 But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts up my head. 4 I cry aloud to the Lord, and He answers me from His holy mountain.5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. (Psalms 3:3-5)

8 I will both lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, Lord, make me live in safety. (Psalms 4:8)

Let me say, I slept peacefully that night and woke up refreshed and at ease. My body was drained of all the nerves and I felt Jesus' love inside. He calmed me like He calmed the sea. I thank Him so much for His kindness, God helped me through my exams and once I trusted in Him, He reached out and banished my anxieties. Being touched by God's grace is wonderful, opening up to Him and being completely trusting works. By His grace and His will, I passed, May His will be done. 

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

LGBT Community and Adverts

There is still a long way to go for the LGBT community. One of the biggest steps will be when couples that aren't heterosexual (as I hope this statement covers everyone, I hate missing people out who deserved to be mentioned) will be in advertisements. Previous attempts at using a same sex couple have failed, like the mayonnaise advert. Currently in England there is one mainstream advert that contains same sex couples which is one for fostering. The people behind the advert clearly recognise that the LGBT community is a good demographic to attract for fostering and adopting, yet in all of the utterly inane sofa and bed adverts, there aren't any same sex couples. You don't see two men jumping on a bed having a pillow fight, nor do two women snuggle on a settee with a bulldog. In some respects, it's great that the LGBT community has escaped being apart of such mundane, poor advertisements, simply because of dignity. Putting this joke aside, there is still the underlying point. Same sex couples are still not considered acceptable enough to be within mainstream advertisements. Is it fair to make a statement that the marketing departments of corporations are slightly homophobic when it comes to profits? I have never viewed capitalism as being the beacon of equality so I reluctantly have to conclude that advertisements are a mere extension of this.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

The Struggle

I am struggling with my sexuality... Not in the sense that I think God hates gays and whatnot. Nor in the sense that I am not attracted to women… I just don’t think I’m sexually attracted to them until I’m in love with them or have a deep emotional connection. I have never, ever, ever had a crush or a fancy. The only person I did start to like was my best friend and it took four months of dating for us to kiss even. It wasn’t until I started falling for her on a much deeper level that I began to get sexual feelings (and that was like, “OH, hello, what on earth are you?”). So I don’t know if this is a one hit wonder thing or what. I’ll just plod along for now. (On a side note, the verb, “to plod”, is actually ace, it sounds like you’re plodding when you say it.) 

Sunday, 17 June 2012


Is God the sheriff? Does He go around and arrest everyone after they have sinned and lock them up in a burning pit of forever?

Is God the damning judge? Once He has decided a person burns, they stay forever.

So, is God the jail-keeper too? Making sure that no one escapes Hell?

"Hell" does not exist, not the traditional, orthodox sense. "Hell" is not the place where those who did not manage to choose the right denomination, get to be tortured and put through intense and unimaginable pain for eternity. People argue that this is justice, that this is God being the guardian of law. It is inescapable, it is exactly what the Lord commanded. Christ's death on the cross was to rescue us from eternal damnation, that is the reason normally attributed to the great act of love performed by Jesus. The important bit of that sentence was "love", and this shall be a theme that runs throughout.

God is more than damnation, God is love. And what makes up love?

Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride; 5 Love's ways are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself; it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil; 6 It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true; 7 Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith in all things, hoping all things (1 Corinthians 13:2)

God is merciful, God is compassionate, God is a forgiver, God is empathetic, God is love.

This article isn't going to focus on mistranslations but on the nature of God and how this overrides the notion of eternal damnation. Jesus Christ is most likely in "hell" right now, bringing out the now repentant souls, ushering them to Heaven because they have been purified. Christ can reach into this world and the next, his power and love stretches far and wide.

The nature of God can be seen through the parables of Jesus Christ. Prayerfully studying them reveals this. I believe that God saves everyone, that God's plan is universal reconciliation, not damnation for all who didn't find the right denomination. To some this is heresy, the devil talking to me and so on and so forth. To me, it is the Good News, it is the Gospel, it is God being wonderful, even more wonderful.

I believe that God is more than damnation, that what courses through His veins is compassion, the arteries forgiveness, the mind may be justice and correction, He extends His hand in friendship and the core of God is love, the heart of God is love, from which all extends.

Quite often I've been hesitant expressing my belief because of the wrath and scorn and judgement it brings. But I'm putting it out there because I feel it is required. I feel that by not stating it, I'm in affect lying, concealing part of who I am. I'm not particularly mainstream in my thoughts I suppose, I'm often battling upstream, the currents of conservatism perhaps? I'm not sure about that, it's just me trying to find myself, find my beliefs, and uncover and discover the nooks of me, with the help of God and Jesus Christ by my side. Perhaps there are many truths out there, and they all lead back to finding God. And if these threads entwine and create a tapestry for God to admire, then I see no problem there. Maybe the idea that, "There are as many paths to God as there breaths of men.", sums it up.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Five People of Enthusiasm

Seeing the passion, enthusiasm and delight of others is utterly delightful. This seems to have happened quite a lot recently. On Monday, my Dad got incredibly excited about seeing the bubbles that carp produce as they feed on the bottom. When the elastic on the rod began to pull and lurch and cut through the water, the excitement leaked out of him. After deciding to watch Springwatch (I wanted to see the badgers, I like badgers), I instead ended up enjoying the passion of a scientist who talked about earthworms. Her life revolves around her passion for earthworms which is wonderful.

On another day of the Queen's Jubilee weekend, I watched the service at St Paul's Cathedral and I found it wonderful that out of everything I had seen her do recently, this looked like it meant the most. To see a monarch in prayer; that is remarkable. She truly looked moved and filled with emotion. The cathedral is a such a magnificent building, for it to be filled and reverberating with music and prayer makes the skin get goose pimples. She doesn't often smile but she did today. I do advise that you look up Christopher Wren if you don't know much about him. Oh, and the Queen looked beautiful as always and the bells sounded remarkable. Although I think four days and a tour of Britain may have been too much for an elderly couple and the Jubilee Concert was dreadful, as is the Commonwealth song Gary Barlow wrote for her, but I sincerely hope the church service and the planes (now they were cool) made up for it.

Yesternight (I enjoy antiquarian words), I ventured to BBC4 (undoubtedly the greatest TV channel) and became absorbed by the presenter discussing women in the 17th century. Lucy Worsley is fantastic by the way. Each week we get off to a bad start as she says the Restoration ended the Medieval Age of England, I say the Tudors ended it (all this of course to the television), yet at the end, I forgive her and just enjoy how interesting the programme is. However, I also enjoy how enthused she is, how gallantly she throws herself into her work, with such vigour and energy.

Lastly, I decided to watch The Sarah Jane Adventures this morning because I love Doctor Who and Elisabeth Sladen is just one of the most wonderful women ever. She adored not only Doctor Who and acting, but she adored her fans. Sadly, she passed away, but her spirit, drive, enthusiasm and determination live on, through her work and Sarah Jane. (I shall also say that those four words can be applied to Nicholas Courtney too.)

Ultimately, I have a lot to learn from all of these people because I spend too much time with doom, gloom and residing in a downcast nature. The stiff upper lip mentality of the Queen, combined with the vividness of the others, the desire to pursue a dream and to enjoy oneself, sounds gradely to me.

Sunday, 3 June 2012

Not all gay women fancy you

I still don’t understand why there are straight women think that all lesbian/bisexual/women who are attracted to women, will automatically fancy them, automatically molest them, automatically fall in love and be creepy. Not all men fancy you, not all women fancy you, unless you’re Samantha Brick , I totally understand if you are then because I suffer from similar problems. 

 The Source being the wonderful Private Eye.