A Noble Quest

The witterings of a sorely deluded soul who enjoys debate with herself and others.

Friday, 31 August 2012

The Calling

When parents reject their children because of their child’s sexuality and the parents’ love of God; are they really loving God? Does rejection equate to love? Is condemnation love? So I repeat it again:

Is rejection the way we should show our love to God?
Is condemnation the path we take when we love God?
Are broken relationships between child and parent, a reflection of the love they have for God?

Called to love, called to love all. 

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Live, let live and love

I have been told in my life that I am possessed by a demon or that I am succumbing to wicked temptation, simply because I accept the person I am, more specifically, I accept the fact that I am a woman who is sexually attracted to other woman. According to the people who have said these things, I revel in sin, I am fueled by lust and temptation, that any relationship I have with another woman will be one of sex, sex, sex, with no room for love. They seem to connect homosexuality with sex, and sex alone. Sex seems to be quite a tricky subject with them indeed, especially when any sex outside the bonds of “traditional” marriage occurs. (I shall continue to use the word “sex” because I would like to emphasise the fact that sex is normal, natural, beautiful, wonderful and is one of the top gifts from God, up there with ice cream, beer and Doctor Who.) Sex has become shackles of burden and guilt, rather than liberating and worship. (I think having sex is a good way of worshipping God.)

So the folks who have told me these things believe that to be gay/lesbian/any other sexuality that isn’t heterosexuality is an ABOMINATION. (DUN, DUN DUUUNN.) Well, no, they aren’t abominations, quite often they are people struggling with guilt that your suppression and bile has caused, they are frightened and petrified of being who they really are, they fear hell and eternal damnation because of having certain verses skewed and shoved down their throats. And no wonder why there are so many people who suffer with depression.

The worse bit is: this repression doesn’t even surprise me. One. Little. Bit.

Where is the love when you call an intrinsic part of a person a sin? Where is the friendship when you distance yourself from the minority? Where is the kindness when you preach people to hell and think spitting from a pulpit is your passage to heaven? There is no love, no friendship, no kindness here.

The fact is, there are people who don’t fit into your worldview and sometimes you’re going to have to breathe the same air as them. If people pass into your bubble, don’t point your finger at them because all you’re doing is being blind. The people who have damned me, you did not love me. You rejected me, scorned me, hated me. You told me that the love I have for anther woman is sick, untrue and just about sex. Well let me be the first to exclaim that it is so much more than that. And let me say something else, the more I fell in love with her, the more I fell in love with Jesus. Is Jesus for oppressing or is Jesus for rejoicing? I became a Christian and then I realised that I am sexually and romantically attracted to women, Christ didn’t say, “Now you’ve got to be born again, again, second time lucky. “ Jesus said, “I knew you were gay, now go and feel the beauty of love.” Walking with Jesus is much more fun, comforting and wonderful than walking with insults, oppression and hate.

I know this may sound angry, and maybe I’ve been harsh, I forgive those that said what they said to me, but the forgiveness doesn’t make it hurt any less. I am free in Christ Jesus, the man of love, the man of friendship, the man of kindness. 

Monday, 20 August 2012

Time For a Rant

It’s all about choice. 
Want to be celibate? Feel free to be celibate. 
Want to be chaste? Feel free to be chaste. 
Want to have sex in relationships? Feel free to have sex in relationships. 
Want to have one night stands and similar things? Feel feel to do so. 
Want to have a monogamous relationship? Feel free to have one. 
Want to have a polygamous relationship? Feel free to have one as well. 
Want a relationship that breaks society’s conventions? Go for it!
Want to be sexually liberated? Liberate yourself. 
I’m sure there are tons of other ones I could write and add to this list, free feel to add any that you think are important. I wrote this without sex and sexuality because no matter what sex or sexuality a person is, I believe that they deserve to have choices sexually and with relationships. 
If having multiple sexual partners if for you, then enjoy who you are but don’t expect everyone to be the same. 
If you want just the one sexual partner because that’s what’s right for you, then enjoy that choice but don’t expect everyone to make the same decision. 
Again, this could go on and on and on. 
Let us celebrate diversity and celebrate choice and the ability to choose. 
To me, choice is the most important factor. (And of course, with all of the above I am referring to consensual sex.) 

Friday, 3 August 2012

The Tightrope to Confession and the Tightrope to Life

I have decided to open this with a confession. You may never have read anything by me before, you may have read it all. Acting the joker, having a witty tongue (or witty fingertips in the case of blogging), are very much part of me. I line things I write with attempts at comedy. I approach topics with an arsenal of jokes lined up, just in case I get upset. I approach my faith and my sexuality with such joviality (?).

Perhaps I need to step away from jokes, however witty or unfunny they may be. The purpose of planting humour for me, is to plant a diversion, to get the people who do happen to read what I write, slightly away from I, the writer. Maybe I don’t need a fulltime exodus, I just need to be a little more honest, a little more personal, a little more open.

If I laugh away the insults, joke away the pain, then I can pretend to be triumphant for a short while, until I go to my room and feel deflated. Even if I scoffed or smirked or smiled it away, it rests in my head, staying there for the day, whispering in the evening, plaguing in the night. Humour is my reflex. It’s not there to be funny, it’s there as a defense.

I feel like I needed to admit this.

Having a sexuality which involves same sex attraction (I have yet to pinpoint it down), is hard. So I get attacked from this angle.

Being a Christian can be hard. I shall never, ever claim that it is hard like it is in certain countries; I do not face such oppression.

Yet I already fear that I’ve talked too much about myself, that this post is riddled with far too many first person pronouns. What I am trying to discuss is the balance between being Christian and being gay (or whatever I happen to be).

The cliché of the fine line or walking down a tightrope is very apt. Scared of stepping over the boundary, fearing floundering and falling, not realising that beneath this line, this thin, fragile rope, there is a safety net.


He’s there to catch to us, there to put us back on the narrow path. And when we are ready, He’ll teach us how to soar, rather than stumble, to fly, rather than falter, to touch the stars over the dirt. Christ is there for us. We not excluded from His love. When Jesus told us that God loves us, Jesus did not lie, personally I imagine Jesus blossoming with joy. Jesus knows this truth, He shows us this truth, let us embrace it, let us embrace Christ. Christ’s finger points to something so wonderful, so amazing, so awesome. May our eyes look to where it points, not just His finger. Let our feet begin the journey to God, with Jesus’ hand in ours.

The last thing I wish to do is enforce, I despise enforcement and the attitude, “You have to agree with me, otherwise you’re wrong.” I just felt compelled to write this, the Holy Spirit guiding me. Whether or not this inspires you, or encourages you, I pray that the Lord Jesus blesses you.