I have been told in my life that I am
possessed by a demon or that I am succumbing to wicked temptation, simply
because I accept the person I am, more specifically, I accept the fact that I
am a woman who is sexually attracted to other woman. According to the people
who have said these things, I revel in sin, I am fueled by lust and temptation,
that any relationship I have with another woman will be one of sex, sex, sex,
with no room for love. They seem to connect homosexuality with sex, and sex
alone. Sex seems to be quite a tricky subject with them indeed, especially when
any sex outside the bonds of “traditional” marriage occurs. (I shall continue
to use the word “sex” because I would like to emphasise the fact that sex is normal,
natural, beautiful, wonderful and is one of the top gifts from God, up there
with ice cream, beer and Doctor Who.) Sex has become shackles of burden and
guilt, rather than liberating and worship. (I think having sex is a good way of
worshipping God.)
So the folks who have told me these things
believe that to be gay/lesbian/any other sexuality that isn’t heterosexuality
is an ABOMINATION. (DUN, DUN DUUUNN.) Well, no, they aren’t abominations, quite
often they are people struggling with guilt that your suppression and bile has
caused, they are frightened and petrified of being who they really are, they
fear hell and eternal damnation because of having certain verses skewed and
shoved down their throats. And no wonder why there are so many people who
suffer with depression.
The worse bit is: this repression doesn’t
even surprise me. One. Little. Bit.
Where is the love when you call an
intrinsic part of a person a sin? Where is the friendship when you distance
yourself from the minority? Where is the kindness when you preach people to
hell and think spitting from a pulpit is your passage to heaven? There is no
love, no friendship, no kindness here.
The fact is, there are people who don’t fit
into your worldview and sometimes you’re going to have to breathe the same air
as them. If people pass into your bubble, don’t point your finger at them
because all you’re doing is being blind. The people who have damned me, you did
not love me. You rejected me, scorned me, hated me. You told me that the love I
have for anther woman is sick, untrue and just about sex. Well let me be the
first to exclaim that it is so much more than that. And let me say something
else, the more I fell in love with her, the more I fell in love with Jesus. Is
Jesus for oppressing or is Jesus for rejoicing? I became a Christian and then I
realised that I am sexually and romantically attracted to women, Christ didn’t
say, “Now you’ve got to be born again, again, second time lucky. “ Jesus said, “I
knew you were gay, now go and feel the beauty of love.” Walking with Jesus is
much more fun, comforting and wonderful than walking with insults, oppression
and hate.
I know this may sound angry, and maybe I’ve
been harsh, I forgive those that said what they said to me, but the forgiveness
doesn’t make it hurt any less. I am free in Christ Jesus, the man of love, the
man of friendship, the man of kindness.
